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Life According to Emmy

Talking to Strangers

“It’s Erin, isn’t it?” Emmy lifted her head to meet the eyes of an elderly gentleman leaning over her table in the coffee shop. “Sorry?” she was nonplussed. “Erin. She told me to go and sit down next to Erin, the pretty girl in the corner” he said, indicating that ‘she’ who had given him …

Life According to Emmy

Toll Gate Trauma

Giggling from the car behind, Emmy created a story out of what she observed one sunny August day… She hated these bloody things. Could never get her car close enough to the payment machine. And straining the whole right side of her body out of the window wasn’t getting any easier, at her age. However, …

Life According to Emmy

Emmy the Entomologist

“Eleven”. Emmy spat out the plastic tube attached to the glass needle. Still holding the tiny cold body of the mealworm between her thumb and forefinger, she scrabbled to locate the correct plastic cup. If only she was better organised. Selecting an unlabelled vessel in the sea of white containers on the bench in front …

Life According to Emmy

Emmy’s Respect for Spring

Emmy loves how resilient spring is. Summer has it easy. In summer, wildlife is simply required to appear. Whatever its aesthetic technicalities, the hazy warmth and sparkling sunshine make it dazzle. Spring nature, on the other hand, is the most hardy. It cannot get away with battening down the hatches and burrowing away – that’s …

Life According to Emmy Tales From...

Palma de Mallorca

Day 0 – The Night Before Welcome to Birmingham International Airport Car Park. Auto number plate recognition in operation for pre-booked customers, the sign read. Emmy waited. The barrier did not move. She was, of course, a pre-booked customer. Emmy booked everything as far in advance as humanly possible. And yes, her car was filthy …

Life According to Emmy Tales From...

Bill’s

When the rain won’t stop teeming and the unforgiving arrow of winter still cuts through the air, retreating into a cosy cavern of tasty food is an ideal way to salvage a Sunday. Such was the conclusion reached by Emmy and Vernon on an early March weekend. Vernon creaked open the door to Bill’s restaurant …

Life According to Emmy Tales From...

Caffe Nero

It felt like New Year’s Day. It wasn’t, of course. It was Valentine’s Day, as proclaimed by garish cerise balloons dancing in the breeze around Leamington. But the rejuvenating sense of new dawns that typically occupied the first day of the year mysteriously crept into this February morning. Something about the way the pale blue …

Life According to Emmy Tales From...

Shopping Local

“Now these are divine”, the lady serving in Aubrey Allen smiled with a glinting eye, carefully packing the praline quail eggs into a paper bag. Emmy grinned with confident anticipation that Vernon would agree. The chocolates were another filler for his stocking which was, until a mere half an hour ago, at risk of hanging …